Updated the edited version 15 mins late…
Edited by Tnyhy
Chapter 145: Pastries (Part 2)
Shen Miao said, “Is it so difficult to admit that one’s heart is not happy, not letting go, feeling wronged, being angry and filled with resentment?”
Luo Ling was startled for a moment.
“Older Brother Ling does not seem to want to blame anything.” Shen Miao said, “By not intending to blame anyone meant that one planned to blame oneself correct?”
Luo Ling stared at Shen Miao for a while and suddenly smiled bitterly, “Younger Biao Sister, must you speak so directly?”
“It is Older Biao Brother who is too indirect.” Shen Miao said, “Just like how you feel, you will not blame others and would only blame yourself. Likewise, you do not say or mention anything and want me to feel remorse and guilt for the rest of my life, or for me not to sleep in peace the rest of my life?”
Luo Ling was stunned, “Younger Biao Sister…”
“Older Brother Ling, you thought that by putting up a pretence of nothing had happened, everyone would relax? And by ignoring the injuries on your hands, everything will be happy again? It is not like that. You hide it in your heart so you will not be happy, thus everyone will not be happy.” Shen Miao’s voice was warm but the words she spoke were very sharp. “A lifetime is just a short few decades and to live compromisingly like this is indeed a way, but somethings it is also good to live impudently a little. Why live in grievance because of others? If one is not happy, just say it. You can be angry, can hate and can be resentful. This is not a big deal.”
Most likely it was Luo Ling first time hearing such a reasoning that he felt it somewhat unacceptable. It was like his first time knowing Shen Miao as he looked at her carefully as he sized her up. Towards this Youngest Biao Sister, Luo Ling felt that she was very clear in differentiating love and hate, and even though she was young, she had a magnanimous bearing and looked mild but stubborn. However at this moment it made Luo Ling have a new understanding of Shen Miao. Deep in her bones, there was a type of disdain for secular etiquettes.
It was as if all the good and righteousness was not worth mentioning in her eyes.
“Who would I hate? Who should I resent? And get angry at?” Luo Ling asked.
“You can blame me because it was because of me that you fell into other’s trap. You can hate the mastermind because it was those people who injured you. You can also be angry with all the doctors in the Ding capital as none of them could treat your injuries, and they are all medical practitioners that deceive the public and build a false reputation of themselves. The only person you cannot blame is yourself.” Shen Miao continued, “Good people always blame themselves and bad people always blame others. But it is the bad people that live better off than the good people. If one can let one be happier a little, then what is there to be sad about being resentful of others?”
Luo Ling smiled and said, “Youngest Biao Sister, are you comforting me?”
“Yes.” Shen Miao said, “I have said so much so that you will not keep everything buried in your heart.”
Luo Ling sighed, “Correct. After the incident, I am indeed not happy and comfortable. But GuGu and GuFu already blame themselves, so I cannot add hail to snow. Tan-er is worried for me so I cannot let her be deeply worried and troubled. I can only reproach myself that I did not practice more martial arts, and thus be hurt by others. I can only blame myself for not being smart enough and be exploited by others easily.”
“Then how about now?” Shen Miao asked.
“Youngest Biao Sister’s ability to persuade others to take an alternate route is precisely to my appetite.” Luo Ling quipped, “Perhaps what you said is correct. It was not because of me and the person I am angry and hate at should not be myself.”
“Hating and anger might not be the thing you finally do.” Shen Miao said, “Since the right hand cannot be used, then why not try the left hand?”
Luo Ling was startled.
“I heard that there was a General in the last dynasty that was extremely brave in battles. Afterwards the enemy cut off the General’s right hand during a battle. Everyone was depressed for him and did not think that he actually started to use his left hand. Later he even created a unique ‘Left-Handed Sword Manual’.” Shen Miao smiled slightly, “What does Older Brother Ling think about it?”
Luo Ling heard Shen Miao’s words, and a strange brilliance gradually appeared in his eyes. Unlike just now, it seemed to have inspired certain thoughts in his eyes and the gaze in his eyes became different. He looked at Shen Miao and his gaze became excited, “Youngest Biao Sister’s story is really good.”
“Older Biao Brother can do even better.”
Luo Ling laughed out loud. Luo Tan who was eavesdropping outside jumped in shocked. This was different from the usual gentle smile that Luo Ling usually had on. Even with the door separating, one could hear the carefreeness in the laughter.
What exactly did Shen Miao say to Luo Ling?
“So Younger Biao Sister relied on this kind of effort, so no matter what kind of predicament one encounters one was able to take each step, and reach to an invincible position?” Luo Ling asked.
Shen Miao laughed, “It is still too early to be called invincible.”
“It certainly looks like it.”
Shen Miao declined to comment. Luo Ling’s words were not wrong but they also were not correct, as it was not possible to just rely on that. If one fell from the most prestigious position to dust, everything that one relied upon all disappeared, with no returns on whatever that was invested in, and all this was because of one’s own blunder in the beginning, and with the collapse of the family clan and death of one’s children, then one would know that nothing was more important that living. Not only to live but one must live well, one can make a comeback and could apply everything to the person who was doing the hurt.
Luo Ling reproached himself but when did Shen Miao not blame herself? She often blamed herself that because of her selfishness in the past lifetime, she had harmed the entire First household of the Shen family. In this lifetime she was still trying to fix this mistake and fortunately she was in time.
She looked at Luo Ling and smiled, “From today onwards, Older Brother Ling will not stay in the room all day to read books right?”
Ever since the incident of Luo Ling’s right hand, Luo Ling would often stay all day in the study to read books. It was said that it was in order to calm himself down, but everyone knew that Luo Ling wanted to be in dismay alone.
“Youngest Biao Sister has personally came to intercede, how would I still dare to read books?” Luo Ling smiled.
Shen Miao nodded her head, “Then I will feel assured.”
“It is not enough to be assured.” Luo Ling looked at her and blinked his eyes before saying mischievously, “Since the matter started with Younger Biao Sister then one must continue making pastries.”
“That is naturally so.” Shen Miao replied, “If Older Biao Brother want to eat, then just inform the maid and I will make some and send it over.”
Luo Ling stared at Shen Miao. The young female in front of him was speaking with smiles. She was naturally delicate and pretty, and was even considered somewhat childish but every time, she would give others an extremely secure feeling. Just like today’s conversation, he knew that she was here to persuade him, and he knew that her intention was to keep his spirits up. If it was others, Luo Ling would naturally seal his heart, but when facing Shen Miao, in face of her outspoken and blunt words, she was guiding him patiently and systematically. It was just like a gentle spring water. It was not considered as a lighthearted or respectable thing, but one would not be able to resist.
It was just like an elder.
Luo Ling was shocked by his own thoughts and then felt they were somewhat funny. Shen Miao was only sixteen now and was a few years younger than himself. At the age of sixteen, Luo Tan even went out with Luo Qian to climb trees. Such a young female, no matter how mature she behaved normally, there would be no association to ‘elders’.
His gaze gradually softened and he joked as he looked at Shen Miao, “If in the future one is unable to master left-handed sword skills, Younger Biao Sister must not despise me.” As soon as the words were said, Luo Ling felt that he was somewhat impudent as the meaning implied in those words were indeed too strong. But one did not know why, he looked at Shen Miao with some hope, as if he was expecting some answer from Shen Miao’s lips.
Shen Miao was slightly startled as she faced a different-from-normal gaze from Luo Ling and felt slightly awkward.
Not to mention about Luo Ling’s identity or anything else, after the rebirth, Shen Miao did not have any thoughts about her marriage. If one could find a stable person for the rest of her life, as long as that person respected her, what did having love mattered? Shen Miao had never thought about a husband.
But Luo Ling… Shen Miao sighed in her heart. Since she already compared Luo Ling to Wan Yu, if Luo Ling really became her husband, then would not she be wrenched to death? She then smiled and said, “Older Biao Brother is joking, who in this family would dare to despise you?”
She did not answer Luo Ling’s question.
The hope in Luo Ling’s eyes gradually faded. After being silent for a moment, he smiled again, “No matter what, many thanks to Younger Biao Sister for consoling.”
“You’re welcome.” Shen Miao said, “We are all a family.”
Shen Miao sat down for a while more before getting up and left. After Shen Miao left, Luo Ling sat in front of the table and one did not know what he was thinking about. After staying still for a long time, he then sighed gently and a bitter smile appeared on his lips. His gaze landed on the plate of pastries at the corner of the table and after some thoughts, he reached out for it.
However one did not know what happened when suddenly there was a gust of wind that coincidently blew onto the plate and the heavy porcelain plate fell onto the ground with a ‘ding dang’ sound and smashed into pieces. At the same time an ink slab also fell together and the ink landed of many of the pastries. Obviously they could no longer be eaten.
Luo Ling was startled for a moment and got up to take a look, but upon seeing that the windows were tightly closed, he could not help but murmur, “It is close tightly so why would there be wind?” Then his gaze landed on the pastries that were contaminated by ink and said regretfully, “What a pity.”
At the other end, Shen Miao returned back to the room and lit the oil lamp in the room. After letting Jing Zhe and Gu Yu withdraw, she then pressed down her disgust.
Luo Ling’s matter was indeed an accident. She had never expected that Princess Ming An would be so malicious. Not only that she wanted to deal with her, she also wanted to deal with Shen Qiu. If it was not Luo Ling who blocked this calamity for Shen Qiu, one did not know what kind of disaster Shen Qiu would be in. As compared to the last lifetime, Princess Ming An was even more rampant, and because of a combination of factors she hated Shen Miao even more, so she did things without caring about the consequences. This indeed made one’s heart unable to be at ease. It is better to remove her early.
Unfortunately Xie Jing Xing had intervened in the matter.
Shen Miao did not know what Xie Jing Xing wanted to do. It is just that on the day when Xie Jing Xing was sending her to the Princess’ residence, Xie Jing Xing told her not to leave the residence these few days, and not let others know her whereabouts. Even though she did not know what Xie Jing Xing planned to to do, but at the moment Xie Chang Chao was already dead so one thought that Xie Jing Xing wanted to deal with Xie Chang Wu.
Initially Shen Miao had always thought, that it was best to borrow someone else sword to kill others and not do it herself. But thinking of Xie Jing Xing’s character of not helping others out of his good nature and with his crafty schemes, one fear that after getting rid of Ming An and Xie Chang Wu for her, on the second day he would extort a big price tag from her. She just felt that it was not a good idea to let Xie Jing Xing take action.
Just as she was thinking, she saw the flame slightly swayed and a silhouette of a man appeared on the folding screen.
Now Shen Miao would not be even surprised about it. She habitually turned her head around and indeed saw Xie Jing Xing walking in from outside.
This person could actually walk in so brazenly and openly even when uninvited, as if he was visiting his own courtyard. Shen Miao was somewhat annoyed but she saw Xie Jing Xing taking a seat in front of her.
However, today he did not wear the usual golden purple robes but wore a black brocade robe, if his collar was not lined in silver threads then he could almost blend into the night. However the night was unable to conceal his good looks. The pair of twinkling peach blossoms eyes were brought and particularly sharp tonight.
“No tea and no snacks.” Xie Jing Xing raised his eyebrows, “You entertain guests like this?”
Shen Miao said, “I do not seemed to have invited you.”
“Not a guest but at least an ally. Or not an ally,” Xie Jing Xing look at her sideways and his lips slowly hooked up, “But still a saviour.”
Shen Miao was at a loss for words. Xie Jing Xing already have no shame in self-proclaiming himself as her saviour, so what else could she say? Might as well not speak. Shen Miao looked at Xie Jing Xing pouring a cup of tea himself, and she did not know why but there was actually a displeased look.
Shen Miao thought that Xie Jing Xing had some expression of irritation and anger. For instance the corner of his eyes was obviously slightly elevated, and this made others feel quite scary.
One did not know which person was that brave and reckless to make him unhappy.